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Hello and welcome to The Parenting Clubhouse Podcast! Today we are going to talk all about catching those good, desirable behaviors our children do. And yes, ALL children have good behaviors even if they have lots of bad or negative behaviors. Let’s jump in!
If our children have some or lots of inappropriate behaviors, we tend to focus on the bad and negative behaviors we want to change. That’s true with all of life isn’t it? But when we do focus on the negative and inappropriate behaviors too much, we miss out on those good and appropriate behaviors that our children are doing that we can praise.
And our children do engage in plenty of good and appropriate behaviors, even if they have inappropriate behaviors, too, that we can praise! These good and appropriate behaviors don’t have to be the most spectacular behaviors. They can be simple, like:
Our children do, indeed, have good and appropriate behaviors, we just tend to miss them.
The whole point of catching these good behaviors, of noticing these good behaviors, is so we can praise them. And we praise these good behaviors so that they will continue to happen again more often in the future.
I guarantee that if your spouse, friend, or boss ever praised you for doing something good, you probably felt great and did that same thing again. The same is true for our kids! When we praise their good behaviors, they are more likely to do those same good behaviors in the future.
When we praise our children for doing good behaviors, we can be really specific in our praise statement so that they know exactly what it is that we are praising. We can say, “I love how you are chewing with your mouth closed. That is really good table manners.” instead of just saying “cool” or “great.”
Providing praise to our children for their good and desirable behaviors can really make a big difference.
Your homework is to notice, and maybe jot down, three positive behaviors that each of your children did today. Once we get in the habit of noticing the good things that our children do, it will be easier for us to actually praise our children for doing those good behaviors.
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